"Why does there always have to be a 'chosen one'? Why is there always some insanely powerful trinket that can do pretty much anything the wearer wants? Why are fantasy lands always ruled by a single person? And why is that person always either a tyrant—with an army of dark-colored creatures that can't talk—or completely benevolent, causing rainbows and unicorns to appear by his or her mere presence?

"If you're looking for answers to these questions, or at least a fresh take on the old fantasy clichés, this is not the movie for you."

"Even if you accept that the 23 thing is completely real (in this movie's universe, at least)... well, so what? And what then? The movie never comes up with a compelling answer. It tries to suggest something about the number 23 driving people insane, but it never makes any sense, because Schumacher is too damn busy being flashy to connect all the dots."

"All my hard work in trying to handicap the Razzies this year finally paid off, and this site gained the attention of the grand Razzie poobah himself, John Wilson, the guy who created the Golden Raspberry Awards back in 1981, and is still Head Razzberry to this day.

"If you're wondering what a Head Razzberry does, I couldn't tell you, but I do know he's one of the founding fathers of the Bad Movie Movement. Without the Razzies, the Agony Booth and a lot of other bad movie websites wouldn't exist today."

"The bike crashes through the window... and right into the helicopter... which proceeds to go up in a huge fireball. Okay, maybe this film does have one thing Road House doesn't."

"Caitlin says they should try to get Rick to smile. Ooh, that sounds like a fantastic idea, doesn't it? And somehow, the writers were able to come up with a subplot even more insubstantial than the Voula-Steph animosity. At this point, I expect a subplot where Yick Yu debates whether or not to pick his nose in class."

"It looks like Heidi Montag figured she could sing, and has released a song and video entitled 'Higher'. I suspect it's terrible, but I've already seen 'My Humps', so how bad could this be?"