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    "This guy is actually the only thing I remembered fondly from my first viewing of this movie, years ago. The idea is cool, and the effects are good. Unfortunately, he's not enough to save the film. Because you can put a golden doorknob on a shithouse, but it's still a shithouse."
    —The Fili on Elektra (pg. 6)

    hot topics in the forums:

    Talk Back in the Agony Booth Forums!
    I guess Michael Jackson finally got enough. — Richard Kelly remakes an old Twilight Zone episode. The trailer doesn't feature nuclear explosions or characters quoting '80s songs, but I'm sure they're in the movie somewhere. — Here's the official Transformers 2 discussion thread. Come in and share your pain. — Another zombie movie? Really, Hollywood? Well, if you must... — Coming next winter: Scrubs: The Next Generation.

    latest agonizer articles:
    TV Episode Recap: Degrassi Junior High: "Best Laid Plans"
    Original Airdate: Sunday, March 1, 1987
    Posted June 30, 2009
    by Albert

    "As you can probably guess, the title is inspired by the same famous line that inspired John Steinbeck, the one from 18th Century Scottish poet Robert Burns. You all know it, I'm sure. 'The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft a-gley.' And things are going to go very, very aft a-gley in this episode, you can quote me on that."

    Read the recap of Degrassi Junior High: "Best Laid Plans"...

     
    Video: The Happening meets "The Happening"
    Posted June 24, 2009
    by Albert

    “When I first heard that M. Night Shyamalan was making a horror film called The Happening, I couldn’t help but imagine taking some choice clips from the film and setting them to ‘The Happening’, the theme from that other The Happening.”

    Continue reading Video: The Happening meets "The Happening"...

     
    TV Episode Recap: Degrassi Junior High: "Rumor Has It"
    Original Airdate: Sunday, February 22, 1987
    Posted June 15, 2009
    by Albert

    "Damn. Why didn’t I have any touchy-feely teachers when I was that age? I mean, female ones?"

    Read the recap of Degrassi Junior High: "Rumor Has It"...

     
    An Interview with Rick Sloane, Director of Hobgoblins
    Posted June 14, 2009
    by Michael A. Novelli

    "Of course, anyone who’s seen Hobgoblins will be excited to know that Hobgoblins 2 is coming out later this month! Sure, a twenty year gap between films didn’t help Blues Brothers any, but this is Hobgoblins we’re talking about."

    Read the interview with Rick Sloane, Director of Hobgoblins...

     
    Video: Top 9 Celebrity Bear Fights
    Posted May 26, 2009
    by Albert

    "There's nothing celebrities can't do. They can heal the sick, they can feed the poor, and they can end genocide. But most importantly of all, celebrities can engage in personal, hand-to-hand combat with bears in close quarters and escape completely unharmed."

    Continue reading Video: Top 9 Celebrity Bear Fights...

     
    Video: Life Lessons with Mister T
    Posted May 3, 2009
    by Albert

    "Never doubt how much Mr. T cares about your health. He will force feed you if he has to."

    Continue reading Video: Life Lessons with Mister T...

     

    latest site news:

    Changing web hosts soon

    Posted on Thursday, July 2, 2009

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    Posted on Friday, June 26, 2009

    latest movie recaps:
    Mister T "Mystery of the Stranger" (Orig aired Nov 10, 1984) Mister T
    "Mystery of the Stranger"     (Orig aired Nov 10, 1984)
    a recap by Jordon Davis

    Stars: Mr. T, Phil LaMarr, and George Clooney as Sparky the Dog.

    In a nutshell: “If you only watch one episode of Mister T this year, it might as well be this one.”

    Posted on: Monday, June 29, 2009.

    Average reader rating: 9.192/10 (52 votes).

    Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989) Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)
    a recap by Mark "Scooter" Wilson

    Another installment in the Worst of Trek!

    Stars: William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, Laurence Luckinbill.

    In a nutshell: “I’m really annoyed at how this movie is making me question the competence of every single human being in the universe.”

    Posted on: Monday, June 22, 2009.

    Average reader rating: 8.787/10 (127 votes).

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    the agony booth recommends:

    Dungeons and Dragons/Dungeons and Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God

    Amazon Editorial Review: "Who will be the dominator of worlds? Destiny belongs to those who dare in Dungeons & Dragons (Side A), a thunderous fantasy adventure inspired by the popular role-play game. Thora Birch and Marlon Wayans are among the forces of good defending the Empire of Izmer from the diabolical grasp of mage Profion (Jeremy Irons). The past is prologue when the evil returns years later to avenge what transpire..." New: $5.13! Used: $5.12!

    Save to Buy Later (opens a new window)
    other recent recaps:
    Mister T "The Crossword Mystery" (Orig aired Oct 22, 1983) Mister T
    "The Crossword Mystery"     (Orig aired Oct 22, 1983)
    a recap by Ryan Lohner

    Stars: Mr. T, Phil LaMarr.

    In a nutshell: "Hey, just wait and see how long it takes you to go on a murderous rampage when no one will help you finish a crossword puzzle."

    Posted on: Thursday, June 4, 2009.

    Average reader rating: 8.043/10 (47 votes).

    Mister T "The Playtown Mystery" (Orig aired Oct 5, 1985) Mister T
    "The Playtown Mystery"     (Orig aired Oct 5, 1985)
    a recap by Ed Harris

    Stars: Mr. T, Phil LaMarr.

    In a nutshell: "If you've never seen a duck driving a fire truck carrying a pig, a goat, and a chicken, well... You have now."

    Posted on: Tuesday, June 2, 2009.

    Average reader rating: 8.627/10 (59 votes).

    Twilight (2008) Twilight (2008)
    a recap by Jet

    Stars: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke, Taylor Lautner.

    In a nutshell: "No matter how good of a job the director did, and no matter how hard the screenwriters worked, nobody else's talent is ever going to fix the middle-aged woman's disturbing sparkly wank-dream that is Twilight."

    Posted on: Monday, May 25, 2009.

    Average reader rating: 7.236/10 (212 votes).

    Staying Alive (1983) Staying Alive (1983)
    a recap by Ed Harris

    Stars: John Travolta, Cynthia Rhodes, Finola Hughes.

    In a nutshell: "I think we may have seen more of John Travolta's crotch in this 96-minute film than Kelly Preston has in the entire time she's been married to him."

    Posted on: Monday, March 9, 2009.

    Average reader rating: 8.225/10 (102 votes).

    The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008) The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)
    a recap by Mark "Scooter" Wilson

    Stars: Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Connelly, Jaden Smith, Kathy Bates, John Cleese.

    In a nutshell: For the role of an alien incapable of feeling emotions, they cast the Hollywood actor least capable of expressing them.

    Posted on: Monday, January 26, 2009.

    Average reader rating: 8.118/10 (110 votes).

    Elektra (2005) Elektra (2005)
    a recap by The Fili

    Stars: Jennifer Garner, Goran Visnjic, Kirsten Prout, Will Yun Lee.

    In a nutshell: "'Born to fight. Trained to kill.' Written to bore."

    Posted on: Wednesday, January 7, 2009.

    Average reader rating: 8.179/10 (112 votes).

    Southland Tales (2006) Southland Tales (2006)
    a recap by Team Agony Booth

    An Agony Booth MEGA RECAP!

    Stars: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Seann William Scott, Wallace Shawn, Justin Timberlake, and many more!

    In a nutshell: "It would all be so sinister, if I gave a shit."

    Posted on: Monday, December 22, 2008.

    Average reader rating: 8.578/10 (135 votes).

    Batman Forever (1995) Batman Forever (1995)
    a recap by Dan Laurikietis

    Stars: Val Kilmer, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, Chris O'Donnell.

    In a nutshell: The beginning of the end of the Batman film franchise.

    Posted on: Monday, November 17, 2008.

    Average reader rating: 8.716/10 (331 votes).

    Click here for more recaps!


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    All articles posted to the agony booth are the sole property of the author(s). Please do not copy/reproduce entire articles without permission. Screencaps from movies and TV shows are used for non-profit, fair use purposes of parody and commentary. Star Trek and all related images and trademarks are the property of CBS Studios, Inc.